Dork The Halls: 10 Weird & Geeky Christmas Carols Part II

‘Tis the season to be jolly! With songs about jingling bells, frosty snowmen, Santa and of course, spliffs, Star Wars and military satellites it’s about time GEEKPR0N got into the holiday spirit. So check out our second instalment of unlikely Christmas carols and if you need to catch up,  Part I is here.

5. Sniper – All I Want For Christmas (Is To Rock)

I could barely recognize The Nerdist’s Chris Hardwick as a glam-rock front man in this awesome video. Chris and the gang from G4TV (including composer, Dave Gibbs) wrote and recorded this song under the band name ‘Sniper’ (Gibbs’ first band from the early 70’s which featured Joey Ramone). With lines like “Deck the halls with titties” we can only hope that there’s a stripper, somewhere, working the pole to this song while she makes her way onto Santa’s naughty list.

4. Poly Styrene – Black Christmas

Oh Santa! Up Yours!! The X-Ray Spex front woman and solo artist Poly Styrene (with daughter, Celeste) sings us another anti-Christmas carol set to the tune of an upbeat and sunny sounding reggae jam. If you don’t want a dark song or juxtaposed images of Jesus, Santa and violence in your eggnog filled noggins, I suggest you skip this track otherwise watch away. Personally, I like the darker tune (and love the late Poly).

3. Dr. Octoroc (8-Bit Jesus) – Super Jingle Bros.

Gamers, you knew there had to be a song for you otherwise this list would have been moot. Thankfully, there’s a whole album of Christmas songs arranged by chiptune musician and pixel artist, Dr. Octoroc called, ‘8-Bit Jesus’. With re-imagined classics like, “Ryu the Red Nosed Ninja” and “Have Yourself a Final Little Fantasy” this will surely please gamers and folks looking to bring Christmas and Nintendo together. You can get the whole album here.

2. Sufjan Stevens – Mr. Frosty Man

Oh Sufjan Stevens. Christmas zombies, a snowman with a boomstick and plenty of claymation gore. You can just file this one under ‘the song that ruined Christmas’.


I can already hear cries of “THIS ISN’T A CHRISTMAS CAROL!” but ask me if I care when there’s a perfect mashup of the Peanuts Christmas Special with the very non holiday Bad Brains song, ‘Pay To Cum’. If this doesn’t at least put you in the Christmas spirit, it will make you want to stage dive off of your Christmas tree and as far as I’m concerned, that’s a win.

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