Geek Love

How Magic: The Gathering can get you laid.

Magic: The Gathering (MTG) is still alive and strong with a solid foundation that, some may venture as far as to claim is ‘cult’ in nature. It’s not surprising in the least that people still play MTG, even though the card game itself is around 20 years old. There are a few qualities about card games in general that have kept them around this long in a world immersed in technology, and I’m going to show you how to use those qualities to impress the lady or gent of your desires.

Now, this will not work on everyone. Even though ‘nerdism’ is becoming increasingly popular among a variety of social circles and sub-cultures, there is still stigma when it comes to card games. With this in mind, there will always the the guy or gal who will dismiss you on the singular mention of the game itself, which has happened before. In addition, this guide won’t really work if this person already plays MTG, although if you have a certain “je ne sais quoi” you might be able to swing it. This is also a handy little guide to spice up an already nerdy relationship that may have fallen into those unfortunate ruts. Shall we?

The Guide


Now this first point is the baseline for the entire strategy. It can be fairly difficult to find someone that is as nerdy as you in all the same areas that you actually want to have sex/be in a relationship with. If you have someone in your sights that is not familiar with the nerd world, or at least not your areas of expertise, you can bet they will be intimidated by it. This intimidation is only amplified among all the technology found within the gaming world today. Imagine you knew nothing about the XBOX 360, and your crush invites you to play. The intentions of your crush are pure, but the bottom line is: this is your crush’s world and your beginner’s mistakes are not only out there for your crush to see, but any/all of their online friends. Given, you could argue that there are ways around this, but that overlooks the point. The goal is to get them in bed with you, not teach them your favorite nerdy vice, and eliminating the possibility of intimidation is a very, very good thing.
This brings me to my second point on the subject of ‘disconnecting”; there is interpersonal communication. It is not very romantic to have two people staring at a screen, it is romantic to have them staring at each other (with frequent glances at each others cards which can give you a nice sneaky view of their chest or lap). Eliminating a screen and playing a physical card game is intimate, it is just them and you in this semi-epic battle of resources. This is when you can sprinkle in the charm, by…

Teach them how to play MTG.

This is where the fun starts. Even if you don’t know how to play, or are not very experienced with the game, this is the perfect opportunity to gain an edge. There are many guides online that will walk you through building your first deck, how to play and potential strategies based on the core function of your deck.
Knowing this, you will be able to open the lines of communication much easier (which can be helpful for those of us who don’t always know what to say, or just fall victim to ‘awkward silences’).

It’s a game of chance.

Knowing cards inside and out and knowing complex strategies does give you an edge when playing MTG, but this is not what we’re talking about here. If the two of you are playing a casual game and making an evening of it, you shouldn’t be trying to implement any kind of techniques or strategy, you want this to be a 50-50 chance game. If your sexy friend legitimately wins every now and again they will be less discouraged, and will want to continue playing, giving you more opportunity to impress and undress.

Now these tips alone should get the two of you talking and having a great evening. Generally, if a person is willing to go through a foreign nerdy endeavor with you (without initially asking you to teach them or introduce them to anything) then chances are they kinda dig you. Use this to your advantage. You will not only make them comfortable but you will also show them you are into them enough to share your nerdy joys with them.
If the mood strikes you, however, (and this is a personal preference of mine) you can introduce a little liquor into the game. Bring in some wine or beer, nothing too high in alcohol content, and use your glass as your life pool. To make things even more interesting, play with a deck that regenerates life (via lifelink) so you can continuously replenish your drink mid-game.

You may not believe that MTG can help you win with your crush/interest, but the only way to find out for sure is to try it out… right?

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