Super Modern Mario Bros.
Ever wonder what’s inside a goomba? Our favorite overall-clad Italian gets a little bloody in this 3-d animation from Blumasters.
The only thing missing? Busted knuckles and shattered carpel bones from all that “Star Power” induced brick punching. I hope Princess Peach comes with a dowry because Mario is gonna be a useless plumber with serious a stim addiction by the time he gets to her.
Besides, he’s been chasing that bitch for what, almost 30 years? Wouldn’t she be more like a raisin by now?
“It’s-a-me Mari- …oh …you don’t look anything like your profile pic.”