Ten Most Satisfying Weapons in Gaming.
The great thing about playing action games, is that they make you feel like a total badass as you mow your way through wave after wave of baddies with all kinds of weapons. Some games do it better than others, equipping you with weapons that are down right sadistic to use. So today we’re going to take a look at the weapons that make you feel like ever more of a badass for using them.
This thing here. This is going to be your best friend.
10. The Spread Gun – Contra Series
No matter how many Contra games are made one thing will always remain the same, The Spread Gun is your best friend. This bad boy fires out a cone of shots in front of, effectively filling your field of view with bullets and spelling out instant death to anyone who stands in your way. With the Spread Shot it’s possible to take out the first boss of the game without ever presenting a target for them to hit. Is it over powered, absolutely, but we love it all the same.
I’m pretty sure everyone would cringe in fear when confronted with this.
9. The Penetrator – Saints Row The Third
It’s a giant floppy purple dildo that you beat your enemies to death with. What else do I need to say?
She may not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts.
8. Greed – Borderlands 2
In a game series that gloats about having over a billion guns, trying to single out one for this list wasn’t easy. Greed is a personal favorite with high stopping power, high accuracy, high rate of fire, and a decent number of rounds in the cylinder. The weapon can easily be farmed by replaying the final mission of the Captain Scarlet DLC as you level up to get improved stats for the weapon. Oh, it also sets fire to it’s target. How can you not love setting fire to people?
Not only is it the most broken weapon ever, it looks REALLY stupid.
7. The Farsight XR20 – Perfect Dark
The Farsight is the kind of weapon that normally is prefaced by several four letter expletives when people talk about. Equipped with an x-ray scope, automatic target targeting and the ability to one hit kill anyone through walls from the other side of the map, this was a weapon that could easily turn the tides of a deathmatch.
Are you sure this is supposed to be the weapon of a hero?
6. The Black Sword – Ultima VII
The Black Sword is the final reward in Ultima VII’s Forge of Virtue Expansion. The weapon is inhabited by the soul of a demon who devours the souls of….well, pretty much whoever you tell it to effectively turning every enemy in the game into a one hit kill. Big scary dragon? Dead in one hit. The random villager who pissed you off? Dead in one hit. Lord British, the kindly king who you work for? So very very dead in one hit. The final boss? Well, the sword apparently has a sense of fair play and won’t one hit kill him.
That just looks painful.
5. The Environment – Madworld
Madworld, along with No More Heroes, helped to show that there was a market for M rated games on the Wii. This over top, blood fest turns the world itself into a weapon for you to dispatch your foes. Street signs, traffic cones, dumpsters, jet engines. Anything that could become an implement of death does.
Maybe you should have backed up before firing that thing.
4. The Fatman – Fallout 3
If you look up Overkill in the dictionary you will no doubt find a photo of The Fatman, a weapon that lobes mini nuclear motors at your enemies, leaving nothing more than some unidentifiable smears on the landscape and a healthy does of residual radiation. For even more overkill there is a unique variation that fires eight mini nukes at one time. Let me say that again, it fires EIGHT MINIATURE NUCLEAR SHELLS. Impracticable, unnecessary and oh so much fun.
Silly alien, you go squish now!
3. The Shrink Ray – Duke Nukem 3D
How do you instantly take all the piss out of the evil alien invaders bent on conquer the Earth? How about shirking them down to the size of a mouse and crunching them under the heel of your boot. With one shot the Shrink Ray turns all but the biggest and baddest of Duke’s enemies into little red smears on the blacktop.
Bask in all the gooey glory of the kill.
2. The Cerebral Bore – Turok 2
Here is a weapon that redefine what ‘Boom, headshot’ means. Here is a weapon that auto targets the head and that fires a projectile that drills into the victims skull. As if that wasn’t bad enough, after digging its way into the fleshy grey matter of its target, the projectile proceeds to explode.
If you didn’t grin the first time you did this, either you are a filthy lair, or you never played Doom.
1. The Shotgun – Doom
The shotgun? Really? Not the BFG9000? The shotgun is the weapon that will be your best friend for most of Doom, and let’s face the truth here, who didn’t smirk the first time they unloaded that bad boy into an Imp, watching the hell spawn reel backwards while a fresh round was racked into place with that oh so familiar ca-clack sound effect? The Shotgun is a perfect example of why you never mess with a classic.
