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Geekpr0n Experiences Ninja Day in Japan


Have you ever heard of the inverse ninja law?

The inverse ninja law states that ninjas decrease in quality the more one of them encounters. One ninja, according to this theory, is infinitely more deadly than an entire horde of ninjas.

I can say, with pure basis in scientific process that during one of my United Nations denied trips to Japan that I have tested this law and found it to be true.

It was last year in February, the 22nd I believe. My bosses at GEEKPR0N insisted that I help them measure boxes. For some mysterious reason I was the exact height, width and girth they needed for said boxes. Happy to help I stood for many hours until when directed to stand directly in the box I felt a sudden pain and was left completely unconscious.

I awoke in a daze several hours later as my box was opened by some kindly Japanese men. Thanking in them in my own native language I suddenly realized they were dressed as ninjas!

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Pictured above: Just some of the chaos that was to be my battleground!

 

Realizing that my bosses were kidnapped possibly killed elsewhere I had to make a daring escape. Yelling out a powerful battle cry of “SHABADOOOO!” I punched the lead ninja in the face and took off through the open warehouse door and into the streets.

To my infinite horror, the streets were crawling with ninjas! Not literally crawling mind you though that would made sense since they were filthy ninjas!

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Pictured above: My reaction

I realized that the entire city was a secret ninja den of ninja evil! I immediately flew into attack, punching and kicking my way through the evil ninja horde! Unable to read the signs I ran around furiously trying to find a way out of this evil ninja city of ninja evil! But to no avail.

Things went on like that for a while, me rounding a random corner and finding ninjas there and then assaulting said ninjas: ninja men, ninja women, ninja babies, all of it.

 

ninja baby

I’m not kidding about the ninja babies.

 

Finally I came across a man in police uniform. Unable to understand what he was saying I pointed frantically at the ninjas I had subdued. Unfortunately, he ended up being evil ninjas in disguise! He attempted to arrest me, at which point I used a Japanese Cyclone Suplex Hold (featured below) on him to make my escape.

suplex

I then managed to make a hasty exit into a nearby office building… but lo I was only beset by more of my adversary

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Brother of Cod!

 

Once again I set to work, realizing that my way back was barred by a secret ninja police man, I resolved to make it to the roof. I battled my way up the many floors successfully kicking many ninjas in the testicles lest they breed more ninja babies.

On the roof I realized I was left with no possible escape, I was alone in a strange land with potentially thousands of ninjas now hunting for my blood. I was lost… desperate.

It was then that I realized I was in a land of ninjas and thus was on a ninja building! Therefore there must be a ninja escape! I looked around frantically and saw such an escape disguised as a window washer lift. I dove for it and immediately started pressing buttons. The lift plummeted as I laughed heartily knowing I had made my escape.

Regretfully I had escaped into a pack of secret ninja police that were waiting at the ground floor for me. They then managed to quickly subdue me.

And that was the 2nd time I was kicked out of Japan.

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