5 Hilariously Bad Superhero Disguises

You can’t be a superhero without an iconic costume, it’s like rule #1 of superheroing, but something weird happens when a costumed hero has to wear a disguise for any reason, that weird thing being they lose their grip on reality and what limited fashion sense they had to start with. For example …

 

 

5. Captain America Used to be Better at This

 

One of the great things about Steve Rogers is his trusting nature and good heart, so when he gets a call from a villain named Sidewinder asking for help it’s no surprise that he agrees to meet with him. But Captain America also isn’t an idiot so just in case this is a trap he decides to scope out the meeting place first. Covertly, of course.

 

 

Despite this absolutely amazing disguise, the bad guy immediately recognizes him and teleports in but even he can’t believe that Cap actually wore that to their meeting.

 

The disguise isn’t a total loss though. It does manage to fool a little girl with a brain tumor a few pages later.

 

The real shame is that Cap used to be a master of disguise back in World War II. Have we all seriously forgotten about the time Cap went Mrs. Doubtfiring across Europe to save some guy the Nazis kidnapped?

Can I also point out that this was Plan A! They didn’t go through half a dozen unsuccessful schemes first to find the guy, this was Cap’s go-to idea; fight Nazis with cross-dressing.

 

I also have to applaud Cap and Bucky’s commitment to their undercover work as they even leave the outfits on while they’re alone in their hotel room.

4. Beast Should Stick to Lab Coats not Trench Coats

 

So while Beast was away helping the Avengers one time the rest of the X-Men got themselves captured by Mesmero and put into a circus. Upon discovering this, Hank has no choice but to put on a disguise and sneak into the villain’s lair to try and free his friends. Now, Hank is a super genius, he wasn’t around to get captured because the Avengers were all like, we need your super brain, so you know his disguise ideas are gonna be …

… terrible.

 

Now, I get it, when you’re Beast, or Ben Grimm or the Ninja Turtles it’s hard to go out in public without freaking people out, so you fedora and trench coat it up, but when you’re trying to sneak into a villain’s lair it might be worth it to make yourself a little less blue and noticeable, especially when your teammate Nightcrawler owns an image inducer that can make you look like anyone! Why are you still a giant furry blue guy asking to get caught???

 

Speaking of Kurt ….

 

 

3. Nightcrawler Never Uses his Image Inducer

 

Don’t get me started on all the times Nightcrawler has

 

not

 

used

 

his

 

image inducer.

 

You were given that thing for a reason Kurt, come on, show some non-blue skin every now and then.

 

2. Chameleon Does Not Live Up to His Name

 

During a little story called Civil War, Peter Parker’s identity was revealed to the world so the Chameleon decides it’s time to yet again get some bad guys together to try and kill him, cause that has worked so well every other time they’ve tried it. But what to wear to the yearly recruiting meetings? Obviously a fedora and a trench coat, on a hot summer day, at a crowded baseball game, makes the most sense for someone trying to hold inconspicuous super villain meetings.

 

But Chameleon is being positively subtle compared to Electro who has already been recruited and is hiding underneath a tree, in full costume, also wearing a trench coat.

 

I could forgive the trench coat and fedora disguise for a lot of villains but Chameleon’s whole schtick is seamless, unnoticeable disguises! This is all he does, but apparently he really phones these things in on the weekends. No wonder no one wants to join his team. Is Mystique going to show up next issue in Groucho Marx glasses and a giant scarf around her face?

 

 

1. Iron Fist and Power Man Make Terrible Ladies

 

I was going to use this entry to point out some of the many times Power Man and Iron Fist have gone undercover with stupid outfits over their neon colored costumes, like when they were trying to catch a serial killer so Colleen and Misty dressed as prostitutes while Luke and Danny dressed as superheroes wearing trench coats and old man hats.

 

 

But even more incredible is the time they disguised themselves as harem girls and the king of wherever they were saw Luke Cage’s incredibly masculine, muscular body draped in silk and said “That one! Bring me that one! So hot. Just the kind of lady I’m looking for, the one built like a brick shithouse.”

 

But it gets even better! Instead of deciding their cover’s obviously blown seeing as they are fully grown men and superheroes, Power Man and Iron Fist just go with it, like “sure, we can pass as sexy harem girls under close inspection, that’s definitely in our wheelhouse” and start dancing seductively with each other for the King’s pleasure.

 

The beautiful moment is ruined when Danny steps on Luke’s dress though and we’re all left to pray for the “What If …” story set in a universe where their disguises stay on and Luke Cage ends up married to the King of Wherever to live happily ever after.

 

The end.