Okay so you all know how this goes. We have an opening sentence and then we post the reason you’re here so let’s post it!

HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT? Do you even see what’s written here? You’re going to tell me you’re going to read ANYTHING written after that? I could start talking about famous Korean Admiral Yi Sun-Sin and metrics will tell me you won’t read it!

Seriously? You’re still reading? You want an analysis or something? Why? It’s ten seconds! sure I can tell you how it looks like Spiderman is with Iron Man and that I hope this echos the comic version of the Civil War and Spiderman joins Captain America but you know that! Everyone with an access to Wikipedia has that theory! Then there’s all the permutation theories and sure someone will actually guess the real plot because of sheer volume and probability but do you want to know?

Of course not! You’re going to go watch the damn movie because it’s got god damn Spiderman in it and even if you’re sad Andrew Garfield isn’t Spiderman anymore you’re damn happy to see him there! Oh and I can’t forget about the five people who will share the one Reddit post complaining about how Spiderman’s costume is different but don’t worry you’ll get to see the ten other articles plagiarizing the counterpoint that the suit is actually a tribute to Jack Kirby’s style. This will all trend on your Facebook feed for about ten days but in the end it’ll all be noise because you’ll be so happy Spiderman is in this movie.

And you should be happy. So go look up when the movie comes out (May 6), start making plans for the movie-not because we’re promoting the film here it’s just a good idea to plan events early-and have a great damn day with a smile on your face!

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