Funny

5 Characters Lonelier Than You This Valentine’s Day


Valentine’s Day sort of kind of stinks. For single people especially, it can come across as an unwarranted yet annual, “look how lonely you are” 24 hour live stream, and that’s no good. So in my own twisted attempt to cheer you up and convince anyone feeling blue that it ain’t all that bad, I present to you 5 of the loneliest characters from cartoons, comics, and film to convince you that you’ve got it pretty good compared to these sad sacks.

Old Man Bruce Wayne

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The Bruce Wayne we see in Batman Beyond and the Justice League Unlimited Episode “Epilogue” has severed ties with everyone he’s ever worked with or called friends. Even if you’re not spending the night with a special someone, take the day to appreciate the Robins and Batgirls in your life.

Mad Max

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This poor sap spends his days meandering the twisted remains of humanity found in the wasteland, and any time he does come in contact with people, there’s a 99% chance they want to kill or enslave him. At least you don’t have to keep moving to survive today: kick back and play some games or binge a show.

Brand (Anne Hathaway) at the end of Interstellar

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Brand is stranded and alone on a planet within another galaxy for at least a few more years until “Plan B” kicks into effect. Even if at time it feels like you’re stranded, at least you have internet! Brand’s got nothing to do but kick around space rocks.

Non-Avengers Hulk

lonely 4Stan Lee really has a thing for tragic characters. Today, be happy that Stan the man didn’t create you, because if he did, odds are things would always find a way to get worse.

Squidward

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Adulthood is realizing you relate more to Squidward than you do to Spongebob or Patrick. But no matter how tough some days might be or how Squid-like you may be feeling, you were once a Spongebob, and deep down you’ll always be a bubble blowing baby.

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